Life by Lindsay

health and happiness with no holding back

Forced rest day = workout withdrawals

Well, it happened. Sadly, I knew it would, too. I had to stop in the middle of a workout to lay down, and then take a rest day to recover. Damn IT!

I didn’t actually get hurt, thankfully. I stopped just in time. My back has been sore for a week or two now, and I’ve been icing it daily. Right after a ring dip yesterday, it began to tingle and I knew that if I moved on to the deadlifts I would surely be sorry.

I laid down, iced the spot, then walked it off like a boss. Three miles, solo, right down the fucking street. Mind you, I was irritated and needed to be alone. I had a shit ton of energy, but no efficient way to expel it but walk. I threw in my head phones, turned up the Bassnectar station on Pandora and enjoyed the solitude. For three miles I contemplated the meaning of life, and steadily grew frustrated that my favorite songs could only be enjoyed with one of my five senses. When will someone invent a way to touch and taste music!?

So here I am today, resting. Grrrrrr. No, I’m not happy about it. Yes, I’ve been contemplating a workout all day. I’ve even thought of going to the gym just to see my friends. I have more energy then I know what to do with, and I just want to do a fucking squat clean damn it!

Desperate to be back to full potential by tomorrow, I took an ice bath.

Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with me? I couldn’t help but totally hyperventilate when I submerged my entire body. That only lasted about a minute. Then I dunked my lower half a few times. Then I somehow managed to just get my back and arms under water with my legs up on the tub wall (use your imagination).

My legs feel great, but the back pain is still there. Going to visit the Chiro tomorrow, and ice more tonight before taking a (hot) soak in Epsom salts.

Health is precious. Cause when you can’t do something because of your physical limitations, it’ll drive you fucking mad. So, take care of yourself.

Dear scale: go fuck yourself

Thankfully my scale doesn’t rule my life or self esteem, but I KNOW it does for many many women seeking that “magic” number. Fuck that magic number girls. We’re better than that.

Your scale merely measures your relative gravitational pull toward the earth.

Think about that for a second. Who really gives a shit about gravity anymore? We’re not in high school science class.

I’ve been known to say that I’m using my scale to “measure progress” and today I decided that’s just a load of bullshit and that I’m just too scared to go without it.

Because of my scale I’ve spent the last few weeks in mild anxiety over this stupid ass bikini competition, even though I’m right where I need want to be. It’s clear to me now since I’ve set up my posing mirror in the kitchen and begun working on it.


This is my booty on Crossfit. This is my booty 12 pounds heavier than when I was on stage last time. Twelve fucking pounds! It’s fuller, rounder, and generally has more BEDUNK! A work in progress, duh, but not bad for a quick 7 week gain if I do say so myself.

But even though my mirror is cheering me on, my scale is being that hateful bitch who just HAS to ruin my day. How can I NOT compare my current stats to my first contest stats? I have nothing else to go by other than regular measurements of gravitational pull. Oh, and progress pics. Those help too.

So all this to say: quit judging yourself by the number on the scale. Quit judging yourself period!

Decide on a fitness/health/body composition goal, and then do what it takes to reach it. Period. And for fucks sake, don’t make it about the scale. Scale can’t help you. Some running shoes and heavy weights will though.

Bikini Prep 1 vs Bikini Prep 2

One unmistakable difference between my paleo approach to prep for this show in 24 days versus my first show back in March is my lack of obsession with the food I can’t have.

It seems that eliminating the morning oats has really kept my cravings down. Last prep I spent hours every day browsing recipes online of foods I couldn’t eat. I looked at the bakery and the candy and the ice cream every time I was at the grocery store buying veggies.

Not this time. I don’t have that “crazy” feeling. Sure I’ve over eaten, I’ve eaten some cheats, but I’ve felt sane and satisfied for the most part. Even with three whole days of no cheating under my belt, I’m hungry and a little low on energy but not a mental fucking head case of sugar-craving mania.

Besides eliminating oats this prep, I’ve upped my healthy fat intake by a million fucking percent as well. Gone are the days of meat and veggies only. I’m doing fats at every meal that doesn’t directly precede or follow a strenuous workout. My brain is happier.

24 days. I’ve got some leaning out to do, but I’m ridiculously focused and even more excited. Let’s GO!

Nothin but love at the gym

Last night I was thinking about the love and support I have at my gym. Or basically the lack of haters in my world. a lot body builders and fitness competitors focus so much on the negative shit people think/say about them that it oozes from them like sweat on the stair climber. Maybe they can find motivation from negativity, but I can’t, not even on instagram!

At my Crossfit gym I am surrounded by love, encouragement, and whole-hearted support for my insane endeavors. I get a lot of cheering, compliments, and innocent inquiries about competing. I’ve never felt judged or hated on. And honestly, if people are talkin shit behind my back, which I doubt they are, then I don’t even care in the slightest to know who they are or what they’re saying. “What you think of me is none of my business.”

I’m just going to keep doing my thing and push harder everyday. The good vibes I get are a bonus.

Yesterday I stuck to my prep diet 100% for the first time this prep. Success!!

I also fucking KILLED it in the gym.
The owners birthday was yesterday: Happy Dirty Thirty Daniel!
So I did his birthday WOD 3 times.

In the morning I did the snatches and push jerks with 65lbs, knowing I was coming back for more later. In the afternoon and evening I did 75lb. The muscle ups are a no-go, so I did 60 burpee/box jump/pull ups for each one. I beat my previous time with both of my later workouts.

To me it’s important that I’m only competing with myself. I may be chasing the stronger and faster girls, but I’m sure not comparing myself to them or anyone else. I’m doing this for me, for the workout, the results, the feeling, the high, the happiness. To compare myself to anyone else would only be cheating myself. That’s why I love doing the WODS first thing in the morning, because then I have something to strive to beat later in the day.

Between the two afternoon WODS I talked a friend into joining me on another cardio WOD. In honor of Daniels Bday I decided to do 30 minutes, as many reps as possible, of 400 meter run followed by 30 box jumps. That sucked. We each got through 7 rounds.

So totals for yesterday, because I fucking crave math:
390 box jumps (20″)
180 jumping pull ups
210 burpees (including warm ups)
90 power snatch
90 clean to split jerk
Run 1 mile and 3/4
8 Turkish get ups (26lb)
166 sit ups

And here’s a picture of my butt in my new scrunch butt beach bikini at 4 weeks out. Much fuller than last competition, which was my goal, duh. Got some junk in that trunk I need I burn off in the next month though….


I’ve resorted to this…


I’ve yet to make it a full day without cheating on my prep diet. Told ya I’m struggling.
So since I’m feeling strong at the moment, I’ve allowed my voice of reason to infiltrate my dwellings.

9 hours of no cheating down, 4 weeks to go!

Struggling at 4 weeks out

Time for a dose of honesty. A little reality. This is more for me to kick my own ass, than for anything else really.

I’m struggling over here, staring this fucking competition in the face only 4 weeks away. Not stressing, just struggling. Prep is hard for everyone I think, but I’ve got such a fucking double life going on, I can’t seem to get my shit straight.

The double life is this: I’m training like an athlete, and trying to look like a bikini model. Ummmm… there’s a reason all the top Crossfit chicks aren’t fucking twigs, and I don’t want to be a waif either.

I’m training super hard everyday, and my body is just not listening to my diet plans. It’s begging for more fuel than what is necessary for cutting for this bikini comp. In other words, I’ve been eating too much. Too much good stuff, and a little of the bad stuff too. My body composition and the scale reflect it this week. I’m actually (gulp) UP from one week ago. For reals. I’ve gained weight this week.

Now, normally I wouldn’t give a flying rats ass about a few measly pounds, especially since I’m feeling strong, but this shit just can’t be happening right now. My pink bikini sheds a tear every time it sees me naked.

On top of that, I’m experiencing symptoms of over training. My chest muscle is pulled, my calf muscle is pulled, my knees are super stiff, my elbows flared up on me two days ago, and my back is sore. I’m a serious injury waiting to happen.

But I don’t WANT to rest! Tomorrow I’ll rest, I swear. And next Thursday. I’ll probably rest then too.

So here’s my plan: I’m going to chill a bit on the heavy lifting. No more two-a-days with heavy lifts. I’ll still do two-a-days, but do more cardio type stuff. My joints will rejoice and my fat will cry.

I’m also going to quit believing the lies that peanut butter tells me. I just can’t trust him anymore. He tells me he’ll stop taunting me if I have one spoonful, but then nags and nags and nags me to come back for more. A jar and a half of peanut butter is likely the culprit for the extra pounds this week, so that little bastard just can’t be my friend anymore. So, goodbye PB for the next 4 weeks. You’re not paleo anyway!

95lb Snatch Vid

I’ve ONLY been doing Crossfit to prep for this next bikini comp in 4 weeks. Lots of total body movements, lots of progress, lots and lots of learning.

I’ve been videoing almost all of my workouts so I can check my form. The other day we did a round of progressively heavier squat snatches to reach our 1 rep max. My GoPro captured three (rather funny) failed attempts at 95lb, the moment I thought I couldn’t do it, and then the final successful attempt to get that heavy ass bar over my head.

If you had asked me a year ago if I would EVER be capable of doing what I’m doing daily now, I’d have said you were fucking insane. 95 pounds over my head in one smooth movement? Go fuck yourself, I’d have thought (but never said, cause I’m not an asshole, duh.)

Here’s the vid. Enjoy… and never give up!

PS. I know my form isn’t “perfect” … working on that shit. Gimme time.

This week… at Crossfit

I’ve been hitting two-a-days just about everyday for the last 10 days or so. That’s not just mind-numbing cardio on a fucking stepper either. Yawn. No, I’ve been busting my ass a few times a day, and my gains are showing it too. I feel so blessed to have a strong, healthy body that can keep up with my unstoppable spirit.

If there’s one thing I learned from taking care of my sick Mom when I was only 18-27, it’s that you’ve got to “use it or lose it.” I’ll go ahead and use it, thank you very much.

Here are some pics and accomplishments from my workouts this last week or so.

Double-unders are sexy as fuck. This week I got to 12 unbroken.

Double-unders are sexy as fuck. This week I got to 12 unbroken.

Workin on my Toes2Bar everyday. Haven't quite figured out the rhythm, even though I got 6 in a row one day without kipping.

Workin on my Toes2Bar everyday. Haven’t quite figured out the rhythm, even though I got 6 in a row one day without kipping.


First swing for a toes2bar. One of my favorite fucking moves EVERRR

First swing for a toes2bar. One of my favorite fucking moves EVERRR


Both feet have to hit at the same time. Rock that core!

Both feet have to hit at the same time. I think I was messing around here for a sec. Rock that core!

Wall walks fucking suck, but at least I'm not breaking blood vessels in my face anymore.

Wall walks fucking suck, but at least I’m not breaking blood vessels in my face anymore.


Pool workout on Saturday, complete with a ridiculous kettle bell complex and slippery hands. Great workout. Didn't notice I was sweating. Duh.

Pool workout on Saturday, complete with a ridiculous kettle bell complex and slippery hands. Great workout. Didn’t notice I was sweating. Duh.


Mad push ups on the side of the pool.

Mad push ups on the side of the pool.


Getting primed to do a 65lb squat snatch... like a billion of them. First WOD of the day yesterday... upped my weight by 15 pounds later that day. Kinda stoked. Just shows I'm not a morning person.

Getting primed to do a 65lb squat snatch… like a billion of them. First WOD of the day yesterday… upped my weight by 15 pounds later that day. Kinda stoked. Just shows I’m not a morning person.


I fucking love snatch.

I fucking love snatch.


Annnnddd... 24" BJ's. Love those too.  Box Jumps you perv.

Annnnddd… 24″ BJ’s. Love those too.
Box Jumps you perv.


85lb squat cleans. Like a billion of those too. Last week I only did 65lb. Getting stronger every single day.

85lb squat cleans. Like a billion of those too. Last week I only did 65lb. Getting stronger every single day.


Dropping that shit like a boss. No really, it's heavy, and I was too tired to do touch and go's. Not very boss like after all.

Dropping that shit like a boss. No really, it’s heavy, and I was too tired to do touch and go’s. Not very boss like after all.


Plank holds, Lamaze breathing, and a little goofing around are good for the ol' obliques.

Plank holds, Lamaze breathing, and a little goofing around are good for the ol’ obliques.


Working for that pull up.. kip and all.

Working for that pull up.. kip and all.


Striking a pose. Paparazzi is errrrrywhere.

Striking a pose. Paparazzi is errrrrywhere.


130lb dead lifts, over and over and over and over and overrrrrr...

130lb dead lifts, over and over and over and over and overrrrrr…



Finally starting to cut – 5 weeks out!

Well, it’s been a few days of half-assed trying to start my diet, maybe a little kicking and screaming mixed in with good old fashioned procrastination. But at 5 weeks and two days out, I’m fully in. Finally.

My mentality has shifted 180 degrees from where it was at 5 weeks out from my first show. At that point, I was scared I wouldn’t be ready, that I couldn’t lean out enough. So many unknowns! At this point, I’m actually worried about getting too lean too quickly before my show. Wow, I could have NEVER imagined I’d EVER be worried about something like that. Feels good to know what I’m capable of, to understand the process, and to have total faith in myself and the workings of my body.

So, here I am, 5 weeks out, and I’m now in full blown GO time. I’m training harder and now watching my portions. Same foods I’ve been eating all along, just in a more controlled fashion. No more afternoon raw almond binges or 10 oz steaks for breakfast. Damn. Back to 4 oz protein, 3 oz veg, and either complex carb or fat (depending on time of day and when my workout is) for 6 meals a day. Back to not feeling FULL after I eat. Back to measuring. Back to real PREP.

Does it sound like I’m complaining? I’m not trying to. I’m stoked to reveal all the beautiful muscle I’ve slaved over in Crossfit over the last 6 weeks. I’m stoked to practice posing in my 5″ clear stripper heals in my kitchen again. I’m stoked to be backstage with all the other amazing competitors. I’m stoked to be better than I was last time. I’m ready. Let’s fucking do this!

This morning's ab progress pic, day 1 of prep diet, 5 weeks out. Oh, I'm so fucking unorthodox.

This morning’s ab progress pic, day 1 of prep diet, 5 weeks out. Oh, I’m so fucking unorthodox.


Working out is way too much fun

I’ve been working extremely hard in the gym for the last few weeks. Lifting heavy, practicing skills, pulling two-a-days, running extra miles, and stretching as much as possible. I’m about 130lbs right now and I honestly believe that I look better and feel better than I ever have in my entire life. I’m having no crazy cravings or crashes and I’m building muscle. My legs are getting thicker (in a good way) and my ass can now stand up on its own (a far cry from the state of my competition-day butt).

I’m jonesing to step on stage again, but I’m truly dreading this diet-down thing I’m about to do. Was supposed to start my diet today, but that didn’t happen. Well, actually, I was supposed to start it on Saturday but that REALLY didn’t happen. I am just feeling so good!

Here’s some fun (blurry) pics from this last week at the gym.

65lb push press in a partner WOD

65lb push press in a partner WOD

Using my hips... guess being a belly dancer in my former life is coming in handy!

Using my hips… guess being a belly dancer in my former life is coming in handy!

Partner Carry... my group just could NOT stop laughing long enough to keep it together. Didn't even count our reps! Love my trio partners Bethany and Marie!

Partner Carry… my group just could NOT stop laughing long enough to keep it together. Didn’t even count our reps! Love my trio partners Bethany and Marie!

Marie owning me!

Marie owning me!

55lb squat snatch and overhead squats, 3 each, every minute on the minute for 8 minutes. Did this one twice today. Ouch.

55lb squat snatch and overhead squats, 3 each, every minute on the minute for 8 minutes. Did this one twice today. Ouch.

Seriously knackered after my first WOD this morning.

Seriously knackered after my first WOD this morning.



Meal Prep = Glorified Left-Overs

In my opinion, meal prep is CRITICAL to anyone who is serious about eating clean and fueling their body according to their fitness goals. And unfortunately, prepping your meals in advance means eating a lot of fucking “left-overs.” If you really want to be lean and strong, well, get used to it Princess.

Every week I make about two major trips to the grocery stores. I stock up on eggs and meat and veggies for the following few days. I come home and immediately have a cooking party for one. At any given moment I have large tupperware containers full of cooked turkey or chicken or egg scramble or lean steak, and another few containers with cooked zucchini or asparagus or eggplant or sweet potato or broccoli or peppers. Each morning I throw a few meals together, using any combo of the pre-made food (fucking left-overs), usually adding fresh lettuce or spinach, maybe avocado and tomato, some mustard and almonds and VOILA… meals for the day!

I never ever ever leave my house anymore without at least one meal in a cooler bag. Even if I just ate. Even if I’m going to dinner. I am always prepared, that way my control freak self stands somewhat of a chance to dabble in spontaneity and socializing.

So back to the prep. It’s not an exact science. Just cook up some yummy staples ahead of time and then put them together and be sure to eat them. No more gas station hot dogs or McDonald’s chicken sandwiches (YUCK).

Here’s a quick peek into my fridge. Lots of meat, dozens of eggs, fresh veggies. The almond milk and OJ are the most processed items, and these are primarily for my honey. He loves almond milk and doesn’t miss real dairy milk at all. Been toying with the idea of making my own, but ehhh, too much work.

My fridge, any given day. How's this for a boring picture?

My fridge, any given day. How’s this for a boring picture?

Last week of gain, preparing to cut for comp 2

“But Mom, I don’t WANNA go on a diet!”

I’m less than 7 weeks from my second show and I haven’t started cutting yet. I don’t wanna! I don’t. I don’t. I DON’T! I’m loving the new strength everyday. I’m loving being a little thicker but harder underneath. My muscles are growing everyday and it’s fun to watch. I think I’ve worked harder in the last 4 weeks since my first show, than I did the entire 7 months training for it! 

I’m eating with no caloric restrictions right now and it feels amazing to be full so often. I’m going to miss that. And I’m going to miss the energy it gives my workouts too. I know my Crossfitting will suffer in the last few weeks of prep, but I’m mentally preparing for it, and will do everything in my power to lose as little muscle as possible as I shed the few layers of fat I’ve accumulated.

So, at the 6 week point is when I’ve decided to tighten things up… no more steak in my morning eggs, only eating

measured meals, a little less almond butter, and no more bacon. BOO!

I’m sticking to strict paleo for the last six weeks, and if I have any cheats, those will be paleo as well. I can’t wait to see what I can bring to the stage on May 25th.

Getting excited!!!!!

Backosaurus Rex... Thank you pull ups. And thankfully I don't walk around like this all day.

Backosaurus Rex… Thank you pull ups. And thankfully I don’t walk around like this all day.

Feelin good!

Feelin good!


I fucking love fat, and you should too

I love fat! But not on my hips silly… in my mouth!

Ok, wait, that didn’t sound right did it? Let me start fresh.

I love to eat foods that contain high amounts of healthy fats. Better?

Almonds, walnuts, avocados, coconut in all it’s wonderful varieties, and plain almond butter.

I’ve now spent over 5 weeks eating an unlimited amount of those healthy fat foods, and have just about wiped out my previous intense sugar/junk food cravings. Really. I can’t remember the last time I had a “moment” with sugar like the time I ate 10 Costco muffins and couldn’t stop myself. Or the time I ate 5 pieces of cake at a party. My post-comp, kankle-creating ice cream feast doesn’t count, because that wasn’t an “intense craving” but rather a well-thought-out cheat-meal-a-thon!

You know the cravings I’m talking about. The kind of craving that takes you around your kitchen, opening each cabinet, one by one, searching for something, ANYTHING to satisfy you. And when you have nothing even remotely resembling a treat in your house, it’s a sad, lonely, unfulfilling trip around the kitchen.

Three months ago I had to throw away the box of brown sugar because I couldn’t keep my fingers out of it! That’s how intense my cravings were. I call those moments in my past my Psychotic Craving Episodes. And guess what each one of those episodes has in common? I had gone several days without eating any significant amount of healthy fat. I fucking knew better too, but the diet my “trainer” put me on had ZERO fats in it, and so I followed it briefly. I had an all-out episode several times a week back then. My boyfriend hated it and I felt guilty and out of control. It wasn’t cool.

My current diet of unrestricted healthy fats has made my cravings virtually disappear. The fats are satisfying, and I’m feeling less of a need for carbs as well. I still eat carbs in the form of veggies, but I no longer look at a granola bar and salivate like a rabid animal.

If you’re trying to eat healthy but still having nightly cravings for unhealthy treats, take a look at your healthy fat intake. If it’s low, try switching out some of your usual snacks with some raw almonds, try cooking with coconut oil, satisfy a carb craving with a plain rice cake topped with natural almond butter, add avocado to your eggs in the morning.

It’s working for me. I feel more healthy, radiant, and SANE than I have in a very, very long time! Let me know how you do.

I get this GIANT tub of coconut oil at Costco for only $20. You can get the same shit at natural markets, but it's the same price for a jar 1/4 the size.  P.S. I may or may not lick the spoon after putting it in the jar.

I get this GIANT tub of coconut oil at Costco for only $20. You can get the same shit at natural markets, but it’s the same price for a jar 1/4 the size. P.S. I may or may not lick the spoon after putting it in the jar.

8 weeks out from 2nd Bikini comp

Here we go with that oh-so-familiar countdown again. 8 weeks til stage time. I’m not nervous at all.

At the moment I’m about where I was at the 2-week mark for my first show, just with more muscle, and less stress. I’m not going to begin “cutting” weight for another several weeks, and just take this “gain” period a little further. I’m sure most competition coaches would shake their head at this and tell me to bust my ass on the fucking treadmill every night too. Fuck that shit, I’m experimenting with this competition thing. Most chicks are following the tilapia, broccoli, and cardio plan that I did the first time around. This time I’m here to prove that Crossfit and low-carb paleo will bring me to the stage in a much healthier manor. Guess we’ll see won’t we?

Been lifting heavier than I ever used to at Crossfit. Building muscle like craaazzzzy

Been lifting heavier at Crossfit than I ever used to. Building muscle like craaazzzzy

Feeling amazing at 8 weeks out, without any caloric restrictions whatsoever and not a millisecond of boring ass cardio.

Feeling amazing at 8 weeks out, without any caloric restrictions whatsoever and not a millisecond of boring ass cardio. Look how round my shoulders have gotten in just 3 weeks! MIA dog loves me no matter what I look like though.





I’ve been asked a dozen times recently, “WHAT DO YOU EAT?!” It’s quite simple really. Meat and veggies and nuts. BAM!

“But what about complex carbohydrates?” say only a select few people who actually understand macronutrients and the distinct, very important difference between simple and complex carbs.

Enter my favorite starchy veggies: Sweet potato and butternut squash.

Meet your new friends, sweet potato and butternut squash

Meet your new friends, sweet potato and butternut squash

Let’s just ignore the fact that these two delish veggies are a pain in the ass to cut up, and instead focus on the fact that they are both an amazing source of complex carbs to fuel your hard worked body. Per 100g serving (about 3.5 oz) the squash comes in with a healthy 12g carbs and only 45 calories, while the denser (more delicious and versatile) sweet potato comes in at a whopping 20 grams of carbs and 86 calories. (Values found on for raw, unprocessed veg)

I use these two veggies to fuel my workouts, help keep me satisfied, and replace the grain and gluten that don’t agree with my sinus’ or stomach. I have a little before my workouts, and a little bit after, then keep these to a minimum the rest of the day and rely on carbs from green veggies instead.

Why I ALWAYS eat before bed

The long standing, highly regarded myth that we should “stop eating by 6pm” or “go to bed on an empty stomach” is a load of BULLSHIT.

I know you’ve heard it, and I bet you’ve tortured yourself and even done it. I’m here to tell you to stop that shit!

Food is fuel and our bodies are machines. Why on earth would you starve your body and expect it to function properly? Even while sleeping. ESPECIALLY while sleeping.

Sleep is the vital time for muscle repair. When you tear a muscle down in the gym, it needs adequate fuel and rest to recover and grow. Pretty basic stuff really, but I realize most people don’t think about it.

When you starve your body and allow your blood sugar to drop before sleep and overnight, you risk using your muscles as fuel, instead of your food.

So, eat! Give your body something to use through the night (besides your hard earned muscle) just before bed.

I like the analogy of going on a long road trip. You can fill your gas tank before getting on the freeway, and go longer before making a stop if at all. Or you can take off on the road with a half tank of gas and make a pit stop on the way. But either way, you’ve GOT to get fuel to make it to your destination.

Think of your nights sleep as a road trip. Since you’re not waking at 3am to eat and then go back to sleep (or are you?) then you should fuel up before you go (to bed that is).

Now, the all important bedtime meal is not a bingefest free-for-all. Put the potato chips down! There are a few rules I follow…

1. Protein!! Yes, it should definitely be a meal heavy in protein. Whether you use a shake, some chicken breast, or a few egg whites, make sure you’re fueling with protein before bed.

Honestly, I could just stop right there. But I’m sure most people don’t want to have a bowl of plain scrambled eggs every night at 11pm like I do. So…

2. Throw in a little bit of healthy fat or carbs. But keep it low carb to prevent a spike in your blood sugar that will likely cause your body to store fat over night. If you’ve just GOT to have carbs, make it some veggies, or a shake that has low to moderate grams of carbs. Or better yet, have some raw walnuts, almonds, or avocado with that protein.

Experiment. See what works for your body that allows you to sleep soundly and not have an upset stomach. But please, don’t fucking starve yourself. Muscles need fuel!

Veggie Scramble Stuffed Egg White “Crepe” with BACON — OMG delish!

I have completely out-done myself in the paleo breakfast department folks. Holy breakfast scramble heaven, I have managed to create my ULTIMATE BREAKFAST FANTASY.

Introducing the Veggie Scramble stuffed Egg White “Crepe” with BACON!

Veggie Scramble stuffed Egg White "Crepe" with BACON = magic in my mouth

Veggie Scramble stuffed Egg White “Crepe” with BACON = magic in my mouth

Say that 5 times fast. I bet you’ll eat it 5 times faster!

So, the recipe will seem more tedious than it really is, but trust me on this one, it’s SO worth the extra effort if you have the time.

Make the crepes…

Three simple ingredients to make pancakes or crepes.... eggs, coconut flour, cinnamon. BAM! Legit and truly clean Protein pancakes!

Three simple ingredients to make pancakes or crepes…. eggs, coconut flour, cinnamon. BAM! Legit and truly clean Protein pancakes!

For one crepe, the size in the first picture above:

Use one full egg and two egg whites, 1 heaping table spoon coconut flour, and cinnamon to taste. Blend in a blender, and pour onto hot, greased pan and cook like you normally would pancakes, flipping when the edges are cooked. Voila!

For the veggie scramble filling:

Use three egg whites and veggies of choice (I used asparagus and spinach) and scramble as you would any veggie scramble, in a greased skillet.

Put the scramble inside crepe. Duh. Add salsa, avocado, and BACON (don’t forget to cook the bacon while you’re making the other shit. Oh, and I recommend using nitrate/nitrite free, uncured bacon)

Roll crepe and EAT! You can thank me later.

Week 3 of Crossfit MANIA

I guess you could say I’m addicted to Crossfit now.

No, wait. Addicted isn’t nearly a strong enough word.

OBSESSED. Yeah, obsessed pretty much sums it up. (If you can think of a beefier word than obsessed, lemme know, because I’m sure I could turn it up a notch)

I want to WOD everyday. I want to WOD more than once a day. I have WOD’d more than once in a day.  I’m obsessed with the movements, and I’m basking in the delight of learning something new EVERY SINGLE WORKOUT! How fucking refreshing from the humdrum of the last 7 months of same-ol same-ol lifting. Yeah, that lifting got results, but it got very monotonous, I’m not gonna lie.

I love that every day is different at Crossfit. I love that my gym has a core group of loyal people who support each other. I’m making friends and beginning to feel a part of a “community” again. Haven’t felt this way since I started skydiving. It’s pretty magical really. Thank you Crossfit951, you changed my life.

Yesterday I discovered I could dead lift 200 pounds. Two Hundred FREAKING POUNDS! I (lil ol’ me!) picked up a bar that weighs two hundred pounds, used good form, and didn’t hurt myself. I’m shocked, impressed, inspired, and I want MORE! My max for pushing the bar over my head without using momentum from my legs was 60 pounds. Shit, I remember when a 5 pound dumbbell was standard issue for me at the gym in years past.

And here’s the kicker… I’ve been labeled something twice in the last two days now, that I’ve NEVER EVER been associated with before: I’ve been called the skinny girl.


It’s weird because I don’t feel it, especially after having JUST GAINED ten pounds. Nevermind the 35 I lost in the first place. I mean, I feel amazing right now. I feel like I’m at my ideal body weight, but I sure as shit don’t feel “skinny”. Still, it’s nice to hear though.

Yesterday I was told that I was proving that skinny girls could lift heavy too. I still can’t quite process that statement. What a compliment. That’s the kind of compliment I could have only DREAMED of receiving. So, thank you Bethany, you really made my week girl.

My next comp is 8 & 1/2 weeks away, and I’m feeling confident that I can become stage-worthy again by using Crossfit alone (with a tighter diet of course: bye bye bacon). I’ve been thinking a lot about my priorities with regard to Crossfit and bikini competitions. I’ve decided I am a bikini competitor first, Crossfit athlete second. In other words, I want Crossfit to be my tool to achieve my bikini competitor goals, not to be my end-all-be-all. That may change at some point if I enter true Beast Mode with this, but for now I’m loving the challenge and motivation of having another bikini comp looming in the future.

Crossfit951 is my new home. It feels good to feel like I belong.

Seriously in love with Crossfit951

Seriously in love with Crossfit951

Post Competition Glow.. I mean GAIN

Twelve days post competition and I’m JONESING to do another one. Can’t wait to wear this $190 suit again. Mark your calendars: May 25th in Culver City! That’s 9.5 weeks away. And now that I’ve announced the date for my second show, I HAVE to do it, right?

Love my competition suit, even though it barely covers my butt crack.

Love my competition suit, even though it barely covers my butt crack.

I think my craving to do another show so soon is partly to do with loving having a goal and something to look forward to, and partly because I miss my abs. I had a freaking 6 pack 12 days ago. It’s still there, but only two are showing now.

I knew I’d gain a little weight post-comp. Duh. It happens to everyone! The stage look just isn’t maintainable, at least not if you want to feel emotionally satisfied. Comp prep diet is rough. So after the competition I have upped my calories and continue to workout hard and have gained about ten pounds. Seven of which were in the first few days, even with eating clean.

And the weirdest part? I’m stoked about it! So is my honey. He likes “meat” on my bones (he fell in love with me at, gulp, 180lbs), and I know I’m sitting at a perfect place physically and calorically to gain some more muscle.


So my post competition diet is much the same as it was during prep, just more food! More protein, more veggies, more fat. Egg whites, chicken, steak, fish, GREENS, GREENS, GREENS, all kinds of veggies for every meal, almonds, walnuts, avocado, coconut oil. Oh, and little bacon. Nitrate and nitrate-free bacon. Just for flavor of course. Don’t judge me.

For this next comp, I’m only doing an “official” 6 week prep, so long as I don’t gain a lot of fat over the next month. Shouldn’t be a problem with Crossfit 6 days a week, and a goal to work for. Ah, I’m in love!

Eating clean post competition is a MUST! I'm not going to ruin all my hard work. Lots of protein, veggies, and healthy fats! Love and Gratitude for my healthy lifestyle.

Eating clean post competition is a MUST! I’m not going to ruin all my hard work. Lots of protein, veggies, and healthy fats! Love and Gratitude for my healthy lifestyle.


The Sugar Hang Over

The night of my first bikini competition we went out to eat at a “healthy” Mexican food place in Culver City called Kay&Daves. Absolutely delish! I tried really hard not to go overboard… in the beginning.

Since I was pretty dehydrated from cutting water that day and the evening before, I started the meal with a few large glasses of iced lemon water. And even though I’m intolerant to gluten, I had some of their tortilla chips with guacamole. Oh, I love chips!

Nick and I split an order of seafood fajitas, of which I only indulged in one small corn tortilla and a small spoonful of black beans. I was saving room for dessert damn it!

A giant bowl of homemade COCONUT FRIED ICE CREAM was both my friend and foe that evening. Holy shit, it was amazing. I quietly apologized to my friends ahead of time for not sharing with them, bowed out of all further conversation, closed my eyes, and dug right in. That was the most delicious, yet most painful experience I’ve had in many months.

I made myself so so sick.

Not pregnant, just tan and full of sugar, salt, and gluten!

Not pregnant, just tan and full of sugar, salt, and gluten!

So here’s something most seasoned competitors probably understand, that I didn’t until I experienced it: the post-comp indulgence meal full of sugar and salt is a bad idea. Duh? Duh!

I immediately got a pounding headache, had trouble sleeping, and woke up with a hang over. Not an alcohol hang over, a freaking sugar hang over. But I can still remember how ridiculously amazeBALLS that coconut friend ice cream was, so I guess it was worth it. And that was my last unhealthy treat for at least a week. I continued with my Paleo plan beginning right away on Sunday morning.

I tried having some fruit Sunday and again on Tuesday. Ripe mango, sweet pineapple, banana, and juicy watermelon. I found I got the same “sugar hangover” from the natural sugars as I did with the ice cream on Saturday night, and have since gone back to having no sugar at all.

Fruit is an excellent source of fiber and nutrition, but it’s high in sugar and carbs, will spike your blood sugar just like any other carb, and can inhibit fat loss like eating candy will. I cut out fruit (and candy, duh) for the last 12 weeks of my contest prep, and will continue with a very low fruit diet because it makes me feel my best.

Ten days later I’ve recovered from the ice cream binge, but the lesson has stuck. And I’ll definitely remember it for my next competition.

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